Conversations

Thinking about how you will be remembered is common as people get older, and especially people who are nearing the end of their life. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

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Remember: These prompts are to give the other person an opportunity to talk if they want to. If they don't want to talk, that's okay. Let them know you are there for them when they need you.

The question of whether someone wants to go home to die or stay in hospital can be difficult to answer on the spot, without a chance to think about or discuss it privately first. But this happens quite a lot. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

Try asking:

Remember: These prompts are to give the other person an opportunity to talk if they want to. If they don't want to talk, that's okay. Let them know you are there for them when they need you.

Traditions can be complex subjects. Every person and family is unique, and in end of life care settings you often have to ask for what you want. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

Try asking:

Remember: These prompts are to give the other person an opportunity to talk if they want to. If they don't want to talk, that's okay. Let them know you are there for them when they need you.

The important things in life, and daily life, are different for every person and can change. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

Try asking:

Remember: These prompts are to give the other person an opportunity to talk if they want to. If they don't want to talk, that's okay. Let them know you are there for them when they need you.

Mental wellbeing is important to people's experience of end of life. Feelings of strength, comfort and happiness make a huge difference to their quality of life. Here are some ways to give someone the chance to talk about what makes them feel happy.

Try asking:

Remember: These prompts are to give the other person an opportunity to talk if they want to. If they don't want to talk, that's okay. Let them know you are there for them when they need you.

Family, friends and carers can help someone who is dying feel comfortable. But problems can happen when people have different views. Ultimately, the dying person should decide who is involved in making decisions. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

Try asking:

Remember: These prompts are to give the other person an opportunity to talk if they want to. If they don't want to talk, that's okay. Let them know you are there for them when they need you.

Checking in with a carer who is caring for, or who has lost, a loved one can cause anxiety. But you don't have to guess what their needs are. Often it's best just to ask. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

Try asking:

Remember: These prompts are to give the other person an opportunity to talk if they want to. If they don't want to talk, that's okay. Let them know you are there for them when they need you.

Most people agree that, at the end of life, it's important to talk about their preferences for care during this time. But only a quarter of people actually do talk about it. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

Try asking:

Remember: These prompts are to give the other person an opportunity to talk if they want to. If they don't want to talk, that's okay. Let them know you are there for them when they need you.

Illness can affect how someone feels about intimacy and relationships. Many people find it hard to start talking about it. Surroundings and changes to your body can affect how you feel about your sense of self, your sexuality and your relationships. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

Try asking:

Remember: These prompts are to give the other person an opportunity to talk if they want to. If they don't want to talk, that's okay. Let them know you are there for them when they need you.

It's natural to want to help someone with an illness, or someone caring for someone who's dying, or someone who has cared for someone who has died. For some people accepting help, and feeling okay to decline help, can be hard. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

Try asking:

Remember: These prompts are to give the other person an opportunity to talk if they want to. If they don't want to talk, that's okay. Let them know you are there for them when they need you.

What gives meaning to people's lives is as diverse and unique as people are. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

Try asking:

Remember: These prompts are to give the other person an opportunity to talk if they want to. If they don't want to talk, that's okay. Let them know you are there for them when they need you.

Feeling strong, comfortable and happy are big factors in people’s mental wellbeing and therefore their experience of illness and the end of their life. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

Try asking:

Remember: These prompts are to give the other person an opportunity to talk if they want to. If they don't want to talk, that's okay. Let them know you are there for them when they need you.

It's very common to feel fear at one time or another when confronting illness or death. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

Try asking:

Remember: These prompts are to give the other person an opportunity to talk if they want to. If they don't want to talk, that's okay. Let them know you are there for them when they need you.

Some people like to be involved in every decision about their care. Some people prefer to leave it to others. The most important thing is that the person who is dying gets to have a say and be as in control as they want to be. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

Try asking:

Remember: These prompts are to give the other person an opportunity to talk if they want to. If they don't want to talk, that's okay. Let them know you are there for them when they need you.