Thinking about how you will be remembered is common as people get older, and especially people who are nearing the end of their life. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

How would you like to be remembered?

The question of whether someone wants to go home to die or stay in hospital can be difficult to answer on the spot, without a chance to think about or discuss it privately first. But this happens quite a lot. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

If you had to decide whether to die at home or in a hospital, which would you choose?

Traditions can be complex subjects. Every person and family is unique, and in end of life care settings you often have to ask for what you want. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

What cultural, religious or family traditions are important to you?

The important things in life, and daily life, are different for every person and can change. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

What is important to you?

Mental wellbeing is important to people's experience of end of life. Feelings of strength, comfort and happiness make a huge difference to their quality of life. Here are some ways to give someone the chance to talk about what makes them feel happy.

What makes you happy?

Family, friends and carers can help someone who is dying feel comfortable. But problems can happen when people have different views. Ultimately, the dying person should decide who is involved in making decisions. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

How involved would you like your family and carers to be in decisions about your care?

Checking in with a carer who is caring for, or who has lost, a loved one can cause anxiety. But you don't have to guess what their needs are. Often it's best just to ask. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

Checking in with someone who's caring for, or has lost, a loved one.

End of life care is about living well until you die. The most important things are not the same for everyone, and every moment matters. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

How do you want to spend your time?

Most people agree that, at the end of life, it's important to talk about their preferences for care during this time. But only a quarter of people actually do talk about it. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

If your condition gets worse, what would you like me to do?

Illness can affect how someone feels about intimacy and relationships. Many people find it hard to start talking about it. Surroundings and changes to your body can affect how you feel about your sense of self, your sexuality and your relationships. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

Intimacy and relationships

It's natural to want to help someone with an illness, or someone caring for someone who's dying, or someone who has cared for someone who has died. For some people accepting help, and feeling okay to decline help, can be hard. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

What do you want help with?

What gives meaning to people's lives is as diverse and unique as people are. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

What gives meaning to your life?

Feeling strong, comfortable and happy are big factors in people’s mental wellbeing and therefore their experience of illness and the end of their life. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

What helps you feel at your best?

It's very common to feel fear at one time or another when confronting illness or death. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

What worries you or scares you?

Some people like to be involved in every decision about their care. Some people prefer to leave it to others. The most important thing is that the person who is dying gets to have a say and be as in control as they want to be. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

How involved would you like to be in decisions about your care?

Families and friends are an important part of many people's lives. Some relationships can also be difficult. Here are some ways to start a conversation and give someone a chance to talk about which people are most important to them right now.

Who are the most important people in your life?

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For people in north, west and central Melbourne

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A peer support program for young people run by a reference committee made up of young people. For people aged between 12 and 25 years living with a primary diagnosis of a chronic medical illness.  

Eight week groups meet weekly for one and a half hours and use music, art, games and discussion to explore living with a chronic illness. The Intensive groups use the same mediums and are held over two days in the school holidays, allowing young people who do not live close to RCH to attend. Each group contains approximately six to ten young people and is facilitated by staff and senior members.

The Royal Children's Hospital - Chronic Illness Peer Support

Parkinson’s Victoria's peer support group is a welcoming space for people living with Parkinson's to connect, share tips and strategies and find new information from expert guest speakers.

See website for COVID-related updates.

Parkinson's Victoria - Peer Support Groups

Cohealth is a community health organisation that offers general counselling services in the western and northern suburbs of Melbourne. Specialised health is available at specific locations.

Counselling services are available in:

- Braybrook 
- Collingwood
- Fitzroy
- Footscray
- Kensington
- Niddrie.


Cohealth - Counselling services

Talking with other people is great for your wellbeing. This section helps you find support from professionals, social groups and community centres.

Griefline offers an online moderated forum for people experiencing grief, loss, loneliness and isolation across Australia. 


Griefline - Online forum for grief and loss

Counterpart provides free and confidential support and information to women living with cancer. Counterpart Peer Support Volunteers have all experienced cancer themselves and can provide a listening ear, emotional and practical support, or help you find reliable information.

See website for COVID-related changes


Counterpart – women supporting women with cancer

Strokidz are a group located in Melbourne, Australia that was formed to provide support for children and families affected by stroke. As a group we offer peer support on a personal, informative and social level. Being parents of children that have suffered a brain injury we are all aware of the wide-ranging effects and the medical conditions these children inherit, along with the emotional rollercoaster parents take in obtaining information about their child's diagnosis. We exist to gather information and share experiences with interested families. We provide a network of contacts to services provided by government agencies. Social functions are organised to help families meet and share experiences.

Strokidz RCH

The Children’s Cancer Foundation family support program provides family support coordinators at the Royal Children's Hospital Melbourne and Monash Children's Hospital. These coordinators work to ensure children have access to the best possible treatments and essential psycho-social support therapies for children going through treatment and their families.

Children's Cancer Foundation - Family Support

### Talking with other people is great for your wellbeing. This section helps you find support from professionals, social groups and community centres.

Talking to people is a great way to relieve stress and build friendships at the same time. It can especially make a difference to people who are ill, depressed, grieving or lonely. Precious Time lists services for a wide range of people and situations. Most are open to all types of people, including people with a specific illness, carers, friends, family and people who are grieving. There are services for communities, cultural groups and people who speak languages other than English.

Find someone to talk to

Talking with other people is great for your wellbeing. This section helps you find support from professionals, social groups and community centres.

Conversation starters

Intimacy and relationships

Related categories

Conversation starters

Who are the most important people in your life?

Related services:

The Royal Children's Hospital - Chronic Illness Peer Support

Parkinson's Victoria - Peer Support Groups

Cohealth - Counselling services

Griefline - Online forum for grief and loss

Questions

How do I ask for, accept and decline help?

How do I tell people that I am dying?

How do I find services specifically for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people?