What does dying look like?

When a person moves closer to death, they can change physically and emotionally. The person who is dying may be able to do their normal activities. Others need to spend more time taking it easy and staying at home.

Physical changes are a normal part of the dying process. The person is not necessarily uncomfortable or in pain, but it can be upsetting to see.

The GP or palliative care team can help you provide physical, emotional, and practical comfort. If you’re caring for someone dying at home, they can provide help when you’re not sure what to do. Talking to your GP or palliative care team about what to expect before changes begin can help you prepare and plan for what this will look like. For example, the care may be provided through a combination of phone calls and in-person visits, depending on the situation or time of day.

It can be helpful to some people to be informed and prepared for the physical process of dying. Others prefer to ask for explanations as things happen.

Signs that someone is dying

Every life is unique and every death is unique. In the last days and hours of life, however, there are some common signs as the body’s systems shut down. These include:

• sleeping more

• loss of appetite

• little interest in the outside world

• breathing becoming rattly, irregular and laboured

• bladder and bowel changes

• disorientation and confusion

• restless moving, twitching, groaning or calling out

• cool skin, especially the hands and feet

• dry mouth and dry or cracked lips.

If you would like more information on why these changes happen, you can speak to the doctor or palliative care team, or call the Victorian Palliative Care Advice Service.

Signs that someone has died

The signs that death has occurred include:

• breathing stops

• no heartbeat or pulse

• they cannot be woken up

• the eyelids may be half open

• the mouth may also be open

• pupils are fixed.

Some people who have nursed a dying friend or family member say it seems peaceful. Witnessing somebody’s final moments can be a moving experience and many people say it is a privilege to be there.