Thinking about how you will be remembered is common as people get older, and especially people who are nearing the end of their life. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

How would you like to be remembered?

The question of whether someone wants to go home to die or stay in hospital can be difficult to answer on the spot, without a chance to think about or discuss it privately first. But this happens quite a lot. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

If you had to decide whether to die at home or in a hospital, which would you choose?

Traditions can be complex subjects. Every person and family is unique, and in end of life care settings you often have to ask for what you want. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

What cultural, religious or family traditions are important to you?

The important things in life, and daily life, are different for every person and can change. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

What is important to you?

Mental wellbeing is important to people's experience of end of life. Feelings of strength, comfort and happiness make a huge difference to their quality of life. Here are some ways to give someone the chance to talk about what makes them feel happy.

What makes you happy?

Family, friends and carers can help someone who is dying feel comfortable. But problems can happen when people have different views. Ultimately, the dying person should decide who is involved in making decisions. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

How involved would you like your family and carers to be in decisions about your care?

Checking in with a carer who is caring for, or who has lost, a loved one can cause anxiety. But you don't have to guess what their needs are. Often it's best just to ask. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

Checking in with someone who's caring for, or has lost, a loved one.

End of life care is about living well until you die. The most important things are not the same for everyone, and every moment matters. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

How do you want to spend your time?

Most people agree that, at the end of life, it's important to talk about their preferences for care during this time. But only a quarter of people actually do talk about it. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

If your condition gets worse, what would you like me to do?

Illness can affect how someone feels about intimacy and relationships. Many people find it hard to start talking about it. Surroundings and changes to your body can affect how you feel about your sense of self, your sexuality and your relationships. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

Intimacy and relationships

It's natural to want to help someone with an illness, or someone caring for someone who's dying, or someone who has cared for someone who has died. For some people accepting help, and feeling okay to decline help, can be hard. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

What do you want help with?

What gives meaning to people's lives is as diverse and unique as people are. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

What gives meaning to your life?

Feeling strong, comfortable and happy are big factors in people’s mental wellbeing and therefore their experience of illness and the end of their life. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

What helps you feel at your best?

It's very common to feel fear at one time or another when confronting illness or death. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

What worries you or scares you?

Some people like to be involved in every decision about their care. Some people prefer to leave it to others. The most important thing is that the person who is dying gets to have a say and be as in control as they want to be. Here are some examples of things to think or talk about.

How involved would you like to be in decisions about your care?

Families and friends are an important part of many people's lives. Some relationships can also be difficult. Here are some ways to start a conversation and give someone a chance to talk about which people are most important to them right now.

Who are the most important people in your life?

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Click any category to search services. You can then refine your search by location, language, cost or other filters.

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Northern Community Legal Centre provides free and confidential legal advice and assistance to people who live, work, or study in Moreland, Hume, or Mitchell Shire local government areas.

Northern Community Legal Centre

Consumer Action Law Centre provides free legal advice and financial counselling to Victorians with fair trading or consumer finance problems. Priority is given to people on centrelink payments or low income, facing family violence, living with a disability or significant health issue, experiencing homelessness, facing marginalisation or in custody, detention or involuntary psychiatric settings.


Consumer Action Law Centre - Legal Advice and Financial Counselling

Cancer Council Victoria offers financial and legal services to people living with a cancer diagnosis. 

Services offered include:

- financial counselling and planning
- information resources to assist budgeting 
- pro bono assistance
- workplace and small business advice.


Cancer Council Victoria - Financial and legal services

Peter Mac offers a free legal service for their patients in collaboration with Inner Melbourne Community Legal (IMCL). IMCL cannot assist with wills and power of attorneys. 

They can help in the following areas:

- Family law and violence
- Work and employment
- Fines and infringements
- Housing problems
- Intervention orders
- Victims of crime
- Criminal law.

Peter Mac - Patient Legal Service

Financial matters can be especially hard when changes are happening in your life. This section has services that can help you manage your money.

The Jewish Care Active Living Centres in Windsor and Caulfield provide seniors a place to connect with others through health services and social programs to support seniors living independently in the community. 

The centre offers:

- allied health services
- social support groups
- respite programs for carers
- home care packages and in-home care
- financial services
- individual and family support services
- employment help
- disability support and services
- residential aged care services
- and a Holocaust Survivor Support Program

Jewish Care: Active Living Centre - Social and active programs for seniors

Council on the Ageing Victoria has worked with its retired financial counsellor volunteers and service providers to develop a booklet to help guide people about who they need to notify and the legal processes to follow after the death of a partner or loved one. This free, practical guide tells people, clearly and simply, what they need to do after the death of a partner. The guide includes a simple checklist as well as details on funerals, burials and cremation, settling the estate, accessing and closing accounts, providing notification of the death and looking after yourself.

Council on the Ageing Victoria - Publication Death of a Partner 

Services Australia (SA) provides resources, advice and payments for Australians grieving an adult or child.

SA  can offer:

- end-of-life advice
- death and bereavement resources
- government payments.



Services Australia - Death And Bereavement Services

Helping Hands Mission's Coolaroo op shop sells a huge selection of clothing, furniture and home ware. 

Helping Hands Mission - Op Shop

### Financial matters can be especially hard when changes are happening in your life. This section has services that can help you manage your money.

Managing your money can help help you feel in control and avoid problems later on. This section of Precious Time has information and services to help you manage money. It also has financial assistance programs from the government and other organisations. Some provide a specialist service, while others provide education. Precious Time includes services that offer help in languages other than English, and for people of diverse cultural backgrounds.

Manage your money

Financial matters can be especially hard when changes are happening in your life. This section has services that can help you manage your money.

Conversation starters

Who are the most important people in your life?

Related categories

Conversation starters

How involved would you like your family and carers to be in decisions about your care?

Related services:

Northern Community Legal Centre

Consumer Action Law Centre - Legal Advice and Financial Counselling

Cancer Council Victoria - Financial and legal services

Peter Mac - Patient Legal Service

Questions

What is end of life care?

Where can I find help in my language or for my cultural background?

How do I ask for, accept and decline help?